Utils in Bat Country

Superb Owl Sunday

Someone cleverer than me came up with the Superb Owl phrase and I'm absolutely tickled by it.

As has become random tradition, I hosted T&B for the game last night.  Melty cheese was involved, commercials were laughed at, Tilly didn't know what to do with all the attention.

As my one true football loyalty is to the Jets, I was wearing that tshirt and who I wanted to win the game hadn't been determined.  Was bopping around in the kitchen, finishing things up, half watching early coverage and saw on Twitter that apparently, after the coin toss, the Giants player extended his hand to the Patriots player but the Patriots player turned and walked away.

Well. By sheer virtue of being snotty, the Patriots lost any hope they had of my cheering and my support swung to the Giants.

So nicely played, gentleman.  Even if the winning touchdown was a near replica of a 10 month old pulling themselves to standing and then plopping back down.

(Yes, yes, I know I'm a girl who doesn't understand the intricacies of the game and he was trying to stop but I do not get how scoring a touchdown, during the Superbowl, that puts you in the lead, with less than a minute left to play is a bad thing.  The announcers were all, oh, huge mistake.  Really?  Realllllly?  I don't buy it. If I'm ever in the same position, am barreling towards the end zone, strategies and clock running be damned.  Because you know if I took a knee at the one yard line, the next play would end in a fumble.)

The great earth-shake

Was working away yesterday, alternating between glaring at the monitor and banging my head against the desk when all of a sudden I felt like I was shaking.  Huh. Maybe I'm banging my head against the desk too hard?  No...

I turned around to see if maybe they were washing the windows or doing work on the building but no...

Everyone who wasn't at lunch was on a conference call and they didn't seem to feel anything...

Maybe I'm having some sort of brain issue?  I bet this is similar to what an earthquake feels like.

About 30 seconds after it started, it stopped, I was puzzled but quickly forgot as Access started thwarting me again.  After awhile I looked over at the Internet and saw that social media had exploded.  Apparently there WAS an earthquake.  Now, in MI, I'm pretty far removed than my illustrious co-author is but I still felt it.  After getting confirmation from other MI dwellers that they felt it too, we all kinda went huh, really? Earthquake?

But all was fine and re-focused on my database when I remembered that Tilly was by herself at the apartment.  Mah baybee!  (Totally dismissed the cats, was sure they were fine.  Am a bad pet parent, playing favorites).  It was still a couple hours before I left and by the time I got back I was envisioning her as another character in the land before time looking at me with those baby dinosaur eyes all where were you during the big earth shake?  Hey, don't judge, Littlefoot and co traumatized me as a kid.  I swear I still see that T-Rex eye pop open in my nightmares.

Of course, she was fine and all animals seemed completely unaffected.

I totally gave Till some shredded cheese on top of her dog food, though.

I'm just a bucket full of wonderful

Over the weekend I volunteered at the local air show.  This is my 5th year, I believe and I actually got into it thanks to my charming co-author as it is hosted by the museum she used to work at.  While her presence is missed, the planes and the golf carts and the pilots generally mean a fun weekend is in store.

Yesterday evening, I was making one of my final runs out on the ramp, taking a couple of the helicopter pilots out to get their bags and we were chatting as everyone does: where they were from, what I do when not at the air show, how their flight in was, I must be tired after the whole weekend.  I was chipper to begin with and enjoying my time spent not looking at numbers on a computer screen and by the end of the weekend we all get a bit slap happy so I was all 'nope, not tired, am just having so much fun weeeeeeee'.  And Captain Adorable looks over and says you're just the most cheery person ever, aren't you?

I should have said: Three days of chatting up hot pilots in uniform? Bet your ass I'm cheery.

I actually babbled something about my family being in aviation and it being a good show and enjoying the weekend off.

Alas. I totally could have flirted my way into the cockpit.  Maybe next year...

Siiiiick

Both your intrepid util borgs have been stricken with the sick.

Am waving the white flag and staying under the covers.

We shall return, fever and tissue free!

Snippets

Super fabulous magical luck to my illustrious co-author.  If my high school cheerleading uniform was in MI instead of my parents closet in TX, I'd do a cheer for you.  Go, fight, win! Yay Tass!

The whole get out of debt challenge is made much more complicated by Anthropologie's website. I love you and you and you and so many more. Keep trying to remind myself that I will also love 20 things from next November's catalog and if I don't buy anything this go around, perhaps I'll be able to buy things next year. In cash. Or more furniture.

No crazy dreams last night. Also, not much sleep which I'm blaming on the fact that I woke up this morning 3 pounds up from yesterday.

And I didn't even have dessert. Hmph.

I have been restraining myself from buying candy and treats at the store. Not to make healthier choices or spend less money, though those are nice, but mainly because I have a whole apple pie at home. And a caramel apple.

I look like an electrocuted hobo today.

My Pandora has been flopping back and forth between country and Christmas today. Am a bit bamboozled by going from The Thunder Rolls to I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.

2009 in Review...

Oh look. Another post that I can steal from Steph.

I got new tattoos while I was back in Michigan, and I'd like to post one of them next in the ongoing Book of Tattoos. However, I don't yet have a picture of it. And so, it shall wait until next week. For now, I give you the answers to the same questions Steph did.

Steph here, utilizing magical log in power to post reactions as some things Tass said deserve a comment from the peanut gallery.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Bought a house and a car. On my own. With a little help from my mom, of course. Is what moms are for. I'd say I've been aiming low since I usually ask mine to buy expensive sweaters but she did offer to help pay for therapy when I was having some 38hr long anxiety attack from hell over Christmas...

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?  I never make resolutions. I was asked to make one today, but I don't think I can agree to it anymore than I can make them for myself. So...

3. Did anyone close to you have a child?  Close to me, as in very close friends for whom I care a lot? Nope. People at work did. And people I know online.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  My uncle, suddenly, in August. And my mom's BFF last week. THAT one wasn't good.

5. Where did you travel?  Michigan, Ohio, Virginia. Not very exciting, I know. Shoots are always exciting when they involve shadow puppets.  C'mon now.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?  Comfort.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory? Mid-November was a stand-out time for me. Perhaps someday I'll even post about why.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?  The house? The car? Starting my first grown-up job? Nope, it was achieving the flat iron/JCrew blazer/lip gloss trifecta

9. What was your biggest failure?  They were so numerous I'd rather not think about them. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  Hello Right Before Christmas Flu. Go fuck yourself.

11. What was the best thing you bought?  Car. House. Car. House. Car. House. I CANNOT DECIDE. Flatiron

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?  Certainly not mine.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  My exhusband. Way to delete our family photos without giving me a chance to back them up, asshat.

14. Where did most of your money go?  House. Car. Blazer!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  House. Car.  Your new superhero status as the Hispanic Kate Goesslin.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?  "Love Will Tear Us Apart Again" by Joy Division

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  a) happier or sadder?  b) thinner or fatter?  c) richer or poorer?  Happier, thinner (I think...I haven't been keeping track, but my pants are loose), poorer (but in a good way)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  Knitting

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Complaining.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?  In Michigan with my folks.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?  .........

22. What was your favorite TV program?  I watched every episode of Buffy and Angel. I come to the TV parties late, what with not owning one...Although Steph is right, Glee is pretty fantastic. Damn straight it is :) (didn't you do WW too?)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  No.

24. What was the best book you read?  If I say Twilight will you hate me? It was certainly the most fun thing I read. I'll post tomorrow about everything I read this year, and see if anything pops out at me as The Best Book. (Of course, I reread Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas which is the Best Book of All Time, but that doesn't count.) My influence - I love it.  {Maniacal laughter}

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Band of Horses. I already knew who they were, but this year cemented a new love affair.

26. What did you want and get?  A house. A car.

28. What did you want and not get?  Lots and lots of things.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?  I don't think I saw a new movie this year.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I turned 31 the week I was in Michigan for my uncle's funeral. I went out the night before and got HAMMERED at the bar with people I loved, and then had dinner with my parents on my actual Bday. And I do believe Steph was there. I was indeed and it was quite the night

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  So many things...

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?  I got a new haircut. And style. Like, that requires styling. This is a new thing for me, so I'm running with it. Otherwise, I'm still a jeans and shirt kinda girl. Don't see that changing any time soon. It's even what I wear with that ridiculously overpriced jacket from JCrew that I bought. Who ever would've thought that you would own and use a flat iron before me?  (Except I was using mom's over Christmas and may have to get my own..)

33. What kept you sane?  Talking to Steph via Gchat almost every day. And vodka. Aw, thanks.  I feel like the Grinch after the Whoville sing-a-long

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Edward. Just because. He's mine!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?  I hate tea baggers with a fiery passion.

36. Who did you miss?  My Courtney. I get to talk to Steph all the time, or she'd be right up there too. You know what would make Baltimore the most perfect city on the planet? If Steph and Courtney lived here too.

37. Who was the best new person you met?  Ahem.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.  It is what it is. Bah, I say!  Look at Love Actually - happiness all around :)

(Someday I'll actually convince myself of that, and stop holding out hope.) 

Xmas thingie Steph posted...so it looks like I'm writing something...

Steph posted this either earlier today, or yesterday. And now I shall fill it out as well, as I've been MIA since last week. Don't ask, but it's been good.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?  Paper. Bags are for wusses.

2. Real tree or Artificial?  I couldn't have one when I was married, because Damon was allergic, and we never had room for an artificial one. Next year, I am getting a tree. A real tree. A frigging HUUUUUGE real tree.

3. When do you put up the tree?  Next year...right after Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down?  Until the needles hurt my feet.

5. Do you like eggnog?  Yucky.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?  A pair of black roller skates with yellow lightning bolts on them. I never did learn to skate, but they looked badass.

7. Hardest person to buy for?  My mom.

8. Easiest person to buy for?  My dad.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? I do. Which is weird. But I'll post a HILARIOUS story about that in the next week or so.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? None.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A horrific airbrushed tshirt.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?  Love Actually.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?  Whenever I remember.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?  Wine. Does that count?

16. Lights on the tree?  Yes.

17. Favorite Christmas song?  O Holy Night.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?  A couple of years ago, I would have said I'd never been farther than my parents or grandparents on xmas. Gparents moved when I was little, so we were always at home. While I was married, xmas morning was always with my folks and xmas evening at my aunt's in the same town. This year? I drive 9 hours back to Michigan to be with my family.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes, and I have the Pottery Barn glasses to prove it.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?  None.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?  Morning. WTF? Christmas Eve is for wine drinking and overeating.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?  That I've been broke for the last two years, and can't buy people things. (I wasn't supposed to be broke this year, frigging furnace frigging fracking frig.)

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?  These old school fruit boxes my mom has. I want them.

24. Favorite for Christmas Dinner?  Like Steph, standing rib roast. (Hey mom, are you making that this year? If not, Chinese food would be fine.)

25. What do you want to do for Christmas this year?  As I just got a new fancy ipod and ipod dock, a house, and a car...I'm good with just being with my family. I suppose there is more that I want, but it's not on the things-you-can-pay-money-for level. And so...

27. Favorite tradition now?  Xmas morning mimosas. One thing I can still thank Damon for.

28. Favorite Christmas Memory?  I have no idea. Seriously. I have some bad ones, but nothing great that's jumping out at me.

Find me a find, catch me a catch

Hey-ho. Tassie here.

Backstory: I know a guy in the UK. Who, obviously, knows other guys in the UK. And I thought, "Self, why do you not ask this man to set Steph up with some gloriously rich Englishman. Or Scot. Or Irish. Or SOMEONE."

I told her this idea, and she thought it was grand. So I told her to draft an email. It said this:

Steph here - yes, am still with D but things are so up in the air and wishy washy and my mindset with this is 98% sarcastic ridiculousness, 1.9% silly fun, .01% hmmm, well, maybe?

dear [person tassie knows], before i aspyxiate¹, if you could find me a under 35, full time employed, single, straight, UK accented guy who thinks italians are super cool, that'd be great.  xoxo steph
oh.  who likes pets

(in no particular order)

Right. So. I get a response.

OMG

His name is [Hot British Guy]... He's a [full time employee who probably makes very good money]... I was with him yesterday.... Loves French and Italian girls....

RIGHT. SO. I tell Steph this, and she writes her follow-up email.

dear [Hot British Guy], I am technically in a relationship and 5 hours earlier than you and have a terrification of flying but am super cool and make excellent pasta which has contributed to my sizable ass but my rack kinda makes up for it?  ps english bulldogs rock and since i said english this is clearly fate.  wanna get married?

 

I can't see any way that this whole thing could go poorly.

(There have been further emails, and even pics! But we'll save those for another day.)

 

 

¹This is Steph's thing to post about...there is a reason she said it, however.

(to be discussed tomorrow.  still too mad)