Utils in Bat Country

Ah hell, Glee and HIMYM

Why are you both suddenly pretty terrible?

I held out longer than most, I kept hoping it was just a slump. But since I've started viewing both of you in the background while working on other things (like this blog post!), I have to admit it.  You've fallen. And you can't get up.

Please to watch Hart of Dixie and Vampire Diaries for lessons on how to do ridiculous properly.

It's amazing I find my way to work each day

As has been demonstrated, time and time again, one of my strengths isn't initial directions/logistics. And parking. Can't forget my dread of parking.

But my aunt, one of my favorite people, had a conference in town so she's here from NJ for a few days and we got together for dinner tonight. She told me her hotel and I pulled up a map, consulted Tass, called the hotel for parking confirmation and groaned when I saw how much parking was on the website. I know, I know, Tass told me to find a street spot but haaaaaa.  One thing at a time.

The directions were three turns.  THREE.  Right off of Tass' street, left, right, around the circle and enter the parking garage. This shouldn't be difficult. Surprise, surprise, I make the left, the right, and get to the circle but no parking garage. I spotted a garage for a different hotel a couple blocks prior so I just went around the circle and backtracked. Thank GOD for light traffic. Got my ticket, found a section of empty spots (holy crap, were they narrow, I think I went through 3 spaces just getting into one, gah), parked, breathed a sigh of relief. Called P, started walking, realized I was following the exit sign for the cars and was impeding traffic, turned around since it then occurred to me I should remember how to get back to my car, promptly realized I couldn't find my car.  I hadn't even been walking for 90 SECONDS and I lost my car. Got off the phone, wandered haphazardly, found my car and started searching for identifying landmarks and the people exit. A really embarrassing amount of time later, I was out on the streets of Baltimore, heading towards the hotel. Ignored all my self defense lessons and had my phone map out as I was walking to make sure I was heading the right way, managed to find the hotel.

Had a super fabulous dinner/wandering sessions with my aunt, felt bad about the verbal tsunami she got as I gave her a run down of the last two weeks, but my stories are rather entertaining in person so she had a good time (or so she claims).  Left the restaurant to walk back to the hotel and managed to end up on some baby penninsula and had to wander around again with the phone to get back to the main road. Even P rolled her eyes at me all 'good lord you doof, you're not supposed to look lost with your phone out, how do you find your way to the shower in the morning.' 

Started heading in the right direction and she very nicely accompanied me to my car so I had another person to make sure I could find my way out. Big signs all over the garage about how it was unmanned and credit card only and sure, fine, no problem.  Had my ticket, had my card, pulled up to the machine, no problems.  I must have either been taking awhile or looked stricken because the woman in the booth on the entrance side opened the opposite window to ask if I needed assistance.  Yay for nice people. And yay me since I didn't need help.  P said she'd just walk the last couple of blocks so I let her out at the corner and I drove off.  Realized as I was driving that we were both going in the wrong directions.  I was able to just go around the circle and backtrack (since I walked it, I'll now be able to find it every day going forward) but I called P to tell her to turn around.  My disorientation has become a infectious disease!  It doesn't matter how good you are at going places, 2 hours with me and I'll have you walking off the end of a bridge, all oops where'd the sidewalk go.

Got her turned around, I made it back to Tass' and all is well.

What am I going to do with myself? I really, really cannot be lost everywhere and wandering looking lost with my phone out. Especially at night and when I'm by myself. Not to mention that I was parked for less than 3 hours and it cost $14. Totally worth it for dinner with P but not something I can afford to do on a regular basis.

Why can't science just figure out teleportation already?

I'm not a fan of this particular recurrence

One of the odder things I've noticed at new job is that I nearly always resemble a hobo.  And not just in the oh, all the other girls and younger and cuter and more attired in zara than I am (though, yes, sigh, that) but outfit after outfit I wear has far too many unacceptable components.

Between the sweater I wore on my second day and then noticed when I got to my desk had holes in the sleeve (thanks cat!) to the scarf I wore on Tuesday that had bite holes all over the bottom (miss you too, Till!) to the Anthro tee I wore today that had a random yellowish stain across the lower abdomen.  I... leaned against some cheese sauce and didn't realize it?

And considering that the 5am wakeup means I haven't one worn makeup or done more to my hair than the bare minimum to edge to the acceptable side of stuck my finger in an outlet line, I really need my clothes to at least not be stained and full of holes.

Does this mean I get to go shopping?

(Lets not talk about how now all the clothes I left in MI have suddenly become spotless and perfect in my mind.)

Chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels > cucumbers

Last night, I had my how to use your mac class at the apple store.  Which they had no idea about but thanks to Apple technology (irony!), I was able to show them my reservation confirmation on my phone and one other woman showed up so we had nearly a one on one session which was both frustrating and educational. What about computers isn't, amirite?

Due to that, I got home around 915 and hadn't eaten dinner so I also had a headache.  Cognizant of the ongoing (and seemingly futile) mission, I grabbed some baby carrots and chunk of cucumber.  Finished those and decided that a handful of chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels was in order since vegetables alone do not a dinner make. Popped a couple tylenol pm for the head and decided to turn in early.

And felt awful. Figured I was having a panic attack about something as one of my more severe symptoms is to dry heave and there are a couple of stressors percolating in the background but I felt mostly calm so probably wasn't that. And I have pulled some muscle on the side of my stomach from walking the dog so anytime I coughed or moved, that would start to ache.

Then around 11:30, I got...confirmation that I had food poisioning.  And even through my groaning, groggy, miserable haze, I noticed that the pretzels - completely digested.  The cucumber - not so much.

Prezels rule, vegetables drool!

[And I was up half a pound today from yesterday. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE]

 

Same auld lang syne

Yep, I've begun to find life meanings in a treacly not actually that holiday song.

We'll get to tomorrow is a new day but in terms of keeping it real, here I sit on January 3rd, breaking basically all my resolutions.

- Hair is a air dried bomb of riotous curls slapped back in a pony tail, with billions of flyaways (I dried it on Sat and even got out my flat iron and it looked lovely on until Monday. Then I washed it again and dove under the covers instead of drying it because it's 19* outside and I still haven't turned the heat on.  No worries for animals well being though, the fireplace was eating logs most of yesterday so the  living room was in the high 60s.)

- Thought I was being wintry and cozy in my outfit only to see that it's the exact same thing I wore on 12/12 (I am wearing a thicker turtleneck today though but still)

- Intended to eat better by buying dried apricots as snack, am sitting here gnawing on Tootsie Rolls I purloined from the parents 3 pound bag of leftover Halloween candy.

- Walked Tilly all of 30 feet over the weekend when the sun was out and it wasn't bitterly cold.

- Forgot my nephew's birthday yesterday but remembered that on Feb 2, it'll be Tilly's bday. Even with that cue, my brain still didn't make the connection. Eesh.

- Have impulse purchased one pair of shoes (from a UK site! who knows when/if they'll ever show up!) and am close to getting another.  Technically, if I stop now, and don't buy the second pair, or anything else fun for the rest of the month, I'll have stayed within my $100 shopping budget.  Maybe it doesn't count if $25 was on a gift?

But! I choose to see this as less of a 2012 failure and more poor timing on the calendars part of weekend, holiday, Monday confluence and things can begin again tomorrow.

Why are the people on TV vexing me?

*Pointed glares at several TV characters who did not behave at all last night*

So, uh, spoilers.

Dear Zoe(y) Hart.  You are wrong. The vet has a weird nose. George is a namby pamby. GO TO WADE.  Unless you being with not Wade will make him be with me in which case, go forth and frolic, stupid shorts wearing one!

Dear Johnny. Cash's level of arrogant know it all ness cannot be overcome by her being 'chums' with Adele. Go where the cupcakes are, idiot!

Dear Robin.  WTF. Also a wtf at the writers because, really, with the asking two guys oh so pitifully how can you possibly like meee.  No.  You do not do that to Barney.  Bad Robin with the still terrible hairstyle, bad.

Am gunning for you now, Tuesday night TV.  Do not let me down Gleegirlraisehood combo!  Seriously, please don't.  The TV can only take so much more of my wrath.

Who has an official diagnosis of concussion? This girl!

So remember how I got cracked in the head last Saturday at the parking garage?

I went to my favorite apple orchard Sunday, got my fillings done Monday, and noticed around Thursday that the last few days my head was bothering me enough where I was taking Tylenol a few times a day.  Hmm. Hopped on over to the Mayo clinic website, pulled up concussion, and, yup, pretty sure that's what I have.  No other serious symptoms so I figured I'd just suck it up.  Put something on fb about how only I could get this dumb of a head injury and my aunt who's a nurse commented and said call the doctor. Even though I had no loss of consciousness, no vision issues, no memory loss?  Call the doctor.  Fine. So I huffed over the 24 hr nurse line and they told me to be seen as soon as possible or go to the emergency room.

I think it should be noted that every time I've called the nurse hotline they've told me to seek immediate medical attention. I know it operates on a program where they type in symptoms to a computer and the computer comes out with the go/don't go recommendation and that they have to be cautious but, bah.

So I call the doctor. They can't get me in till today, send me back to talk to the triage nurse, finally someone who is reasonable and says you're probably fine till Monday, come in then if it's still hurting, if it gets worse over the weekend go to the ER.

Get to the doctor who doesn't actually feel my head or look at my eyes and she listens to me say what I did, how it hurts and says, yep, concussion.  Take Tylenol as needed, it'll be like that for a couple weeks.

Hey, now, that sounds exactly like what the Mayo clinic site told me for free!  Hmph.

Then, because my timing is impeccable, she tells me no contact sports or anything that can jostle my head till I've been symptom free for a week.  I inquire if roller coasters jostle my head, specifically Harry Potter roller coasters and she re-evaluates her earlier statement of you're fine and tells me slowly that yes, the Harry Potter roller coaster would not be a good idea.

And no Space Mountain, either.  I don't particularly care too much, roller coasters have never been my favorite thing but it's especially irksome given Harry Potter.  Isn't the park built around one main roller coaster ride?  I can wait in line with everyone since there are activities in line and just step off to the side when we get to the front, right?  Just take my $86 admission ticket over and get in line for a Butterbeer?  (Do they really taste like butterscotch?  I'm not a huge fan of that.. )

At least if my head cracks open, there'll be wands right there so a quick Reparo should do the trick.

Injury!

Injury! On the way to Anthropologie!

Am a poet! Who is an idiot.

On Saturday, when I went with K and M to Anthro, we parked in the garage and made our way out to the street.  There was a city fair going on and so the streets were overflowing with people so we were weaving in and out when all of a sudden I felt a thud on my head.  Reach up trying to figure out what had happened, felt foam and as I turned the thud continued on my shoulder.  Looked over and realized that we were crossing by the other garage entrance and I had been thwacked in the head by the arm as it came down after a car had exited.

Oh yes, my genius, let me show it to you.  I got beaned in the head by the barrier at the parking garage.

It didn't hurt too badly at the time and our Anthro trip met with much success and enjoyment but after awhile my head had progressed from having a dull ache to full on throbbing, dizzying, continuous pain. Great. I never felt tired and M was driving so I wasn't worried about a concussion and got some coffee hoping the caffeine would help till we got back to the apartments.  Nearly moaned aloud when we ran into traffic 20 minutes out but made it back to the apartment and downed some extra strength tylenol.

Only I could manage this.

Dis(turbed) Harmony

I know I said I'd come back and tell you about Butterfly guy coming over to the apartment but then I went and saw him on Sunday and things took a wild turn from oddly bemusing to flat out creepy as all fuck get out run away run away and so I can't really talk about anything that happened prior to that without feeling the need to shower and I'd like to avoid any Silence of the Lambs skin suit type scenarios so, yeah, moving on.

Except not! Because I still have to email him and get across my point of never wanting to communicate ever again.

A, if you're reading, it was SO MUCH WORSE than anything we came up with at the shoot.

[For the record, I know I'm being wildly dramatic here and THANK GOD nothing happened where I felt for my physical safety (he didn't attack me or anything) but there is definitely something very, very wrong and when I summed up events to both my charming co-author and my extraordinarily level headed co-worker, they both immediately said yeah, you need to not see him again, ever.]

But, like a good getting back on the horse type person, I have another date tentatively scheduled with G, he who I can come up with no nickname for, and who is boringly normal (No! There is no normal! They are all crazy! Aaaaaagh!!!!!) and another guy that I'm supposed to email to set up something with.  Clearly, neither is really blowing my skirt up. I hadn't checked my matches in a few days so I went through a couple dozen last night and sent out questions to 5 people.  Way to go, me.  Except! Two of them archived me.  And after all the crap of Sunday, it's really pissing me off.  I'm aware that I'm a bit left of center when it comes to sanity but I am nowhere near the level of crazy that seems to be coming my way via this stupid EH business.  I'm normal(ish) and most people find me amusing and charming and is it really too much to ask for a date with someone else who is normal(ish) and who I find amusing and charming?  Apparently, it is.

Over. It.

Why teeth, whyyyy

Oh, for the love of GOD.

At my regularly scheduled cleaning, the hygienist was asking how the wisdom tooth procedure went (apparently I was 'looked forward to' when they presented at yesterday's staff meeting.  My teeth are soooo exciting) and they were all a bit surprised when they saw that #4 was still there.  [and there it will stay, forever, you hear me tooth?]  I told her about the random tingling feeling I get and she was all oh yes, that's completely normal, there's this big nerve and with such a procedure it's not uncommon to have a bit of nerve damage and it should go away in time but if it doesn't will just be annoying but no big deal.  Ok, good.  She does some bite wing x-rays (more things I bet effing insurance won't cover) and clucks her tongue at a few trouble spots.  What?  No. NO. I was in six months ago and everything looked good (beautiful as Dr. K said!) and the only thing left to get my mouth in shape was wisdom teeth.  I did that, suffered through the pain and the expense and now I am just hear for the polishing and the fancy floss.

Apparently, no. There are a few trouble spots that they are watching and THREE places they need to fill.  Dr. G came in and was explaining that cavities in adults aren't like when you're a kid, they can not show up for years but be slowly growing and then one cleaning you come in and oh, hello, we have eaten through your enamel and are going to make all your teeth fall out.  They prescribed $7 toothpaste that has fluoride to use at night that should help the spots being watched from getting worse and as long as they stay as they are, I never have to get them filled.  And the three I have to have filled should be 'straight forward'.  Then they were talking about how snacking on sugary things exacerbates any issues because it takes your mouth two hours to balance out after eating and if you keep snacking then your mouth never recovers.  Makes sense.  Farewell 3pm tootsie rolls!  I'll miss you!

But Fine. finefinefine.  I will go in on the 26th and remind them how last time the novacaine started to wear off so could they please load me up this time and at least appreciate that it won't be as bad as my wisdom teeth.

My gums are sparkling though, so there's that.