(Not quite as easy to bam out as Marshall's 'Lawyered' but I'll manage)
At the train station this morning before the sun had properly risen:
J: Engagement rings have no value - it's a small piece of rock that marketing and society have decided are the only way to quantify worthiness. They're essentially pointless.
[Ed: We like to razz on each other and since I'm a sap and we just got back from my cousin's wedding, he figured this would be an easy win, nothing more implied, no one get excited or go calling my mom about my impending nuptials]
S: Insurance companies place plenty of value on them.