Utils in Bat Country

How to make the Disney magic feeling last

Wait till the dog is sufficiently sleepy so as to not attack the ears and play pretty, pretty princess.

Smile pretty, Till!

The shame, it burns.

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And pitiful

Is not uncommon for me to come down with some sort of cold after having a panic attack and that plus the two days of damp, squishy hotel provided a perfect storm (ha! with the typhoon!) and am now a head fogged, sore throated, groaning shell of a person.

But!  Even though I had a full on breakdown in the middle of the reception - I started to cry, you guys, the weather moved far enough west where the flight yesterday was nearly pleasant.  There was hardly any actual turbulence but I had asked the flight attendants when I boarded how the air was and they said rough the whole way and then the pilot came on (several times) and said he wasn't letting the flight attendants up because the air was so rough so I was pretty tense the whole time waiting for the roller coaster to start.  Was only once we started our descent into MI that the Tylenol PM finally kicked in meaning I slept the last 8 minutes of the flight (and then for 3 hours yesterday afternoon).  Given the state of the weather Saturday though, I'll take it.  Could have been so so much worse.  Thank you God and Baby Jesus.

And! As a balm to my sniffling self, was 144.5 this morning.  Who says theme parks can't be healthy? 

Well, that and only being able to eat two bites of cake.  My anxiety's hallmark: tears and dry heaves.

Magic, indeed

Sabotage

The worst I've ever looked/felt/been in life was at my brother's wedding in May, 2009. 

(I'm excluding middle school hell because everyone I've ever met considers it a miracle to have survived)

I look at the pictures and just cringe.  I look like a puffy goblin who had just gotten back from a month long bender.  And it's not even how terrible I look but I remember how I was feeling.  Not even 6 months after my wedding that wasn't, first time facing most of the family and friends who had made plans/spent money that had to be changed, feeling like a complete failure at life watching my younger brother get married and see how happy the parents were, on and on, woe and woe.

Time went on, I picked myself up, got better, got healthier, woo and progress.  And now I'm 23 hours out from landing in Orlando to celebrate another family wedding.  And I know it'll be great.  Super fabulous even.  But. I feel like I look like crap.  Between stress and being lazy and eating out more thanks to EH and then Tilly being sick and then me being sick, the last month has been one long eat all the things fest and exercise has dropped from a couple miles every day to maybe a mile ish once a week.

And it's only a few pounds.  [Six to be precise].  I know, I know, waaah poor me, I gained 6 whole pounds, am hippopotamus.  But.  It sucks.  Trejectory is going the wrong way. So instead of being in the 130s like I very reasonably could have been, I topped this morning at 149.5.  At this rate, am hoping the cost of food at Disney plus all the walking will at least keep me under the 150 mark for the weekend.

To add insult to heft, I was looking at my patient plan when I left the doctor's on Monday and my vitals were listed.  Remember how after my physical, I asked what range I should be aiming towards and she looked at my chart and said BMI is in the normal range so you're good.  Yeah, that's because someone input my weight as 137.5, not 147.5.  Ah, ha. It all makes so much sense now.  Am not done after all.

Did I subconsciously shove cookies in my mouth to provide an aesthetic answer to the why aren't you married yet question to head off people from actually asking it?  (Typically I don't really care.  No, I'm not married, yes, it's fine, but when I'm at a wedding for a younger relative... my cool is not so easily kept.)

And if that's the case, wtf, self?  Seriously.  You know better. You are better than this. So what if EH didn't knock your socks off.  There are greater tragedies in life. Get off your ass and walk around the block.

Maybe weddings are shocks to my system and this will be a much needed kick.  Because I'm not going to do this again.  I'm not going to miserably spiral down for a year.  Am being cliche and saying that the year of 30 is going to be new life focus.  Wallow for a bit (or in my case a post) and then figure it out.

I've let myself wallow.  Hopefully a pair of Mickey ears is all I need to stand up again.

It's beginning to look a lot like AAAAGHHH

So, D decided to get out all the Christmas decorations on Sunday while I was at work.  Whatever. Because I have turned into a miserly Scrooge, I said just don't turn the lights on till after Thanksgiving.  All fine, I enjoyed seeing all the ornaments and didn't think much of it.

The tree is upstairs so my view of it from my bed is this

(Yeah, it's pretty pitiful, will have to spend some time with it after turkey.)

Went to sleep and when one of the animals woke me up at 3am, I rolled over as usual expecting to go right back to sleep.  Except, I saw this shadowy, sort of person height shape outside the door.  Bolted upright before I remembered that oh yeah, it's the Christmas tree.

So much for a Silent Night.  How many sleeps till Christmas?

Who has an official diagnosis of concussion? This girl!

So remember how I got cracked in the head last Saturday at the parking garage?

I went to my favorite apple orchard Sunday, got my fillings done Monday, and noticed around Thursday that the last few days my head was bothering me enough where I was taking Tylenol a few times a day.  Hmm. Hopped on over to the Mayo clinic website, pulled up concussion, and, yup, pretty sure that's what I have.  No other serious symptoms so I figured I'd just suck it up.  Put something on fb about how only I could get this dumb of a head injury and my aunt who's a nurse commented and said call the doctor. Even though I had no loss of consciousness, no vision issues, no memory loss?  Call the doctor.  Fine. So I huffed over the 24 hr nurse line and they told me to be seen as soon as possible or go to the emergency room.

I think it should be noted that every time I've called the nurse hotline they've told me to seek immediate medical attention. I know it operates on a program where they type in symptoms to a computer and the computer comes out with the go/don't go recommendation and that they have to be cautious but, bah.

So I call the doctor. They can't get me in till today, send me back to talk to the triage nurse, finally someone who is reasonable and says you're probably fine till Monday, come in then if it's still hurting, if it gets worse over the weekend go to the ER.

Get to the doctor who doesn't actually feel my head or look at my eyes and she listens to me say what I did, how it hurts and says, yep, concussion.  Take Tylenol as needed, it'll be like that for a couple weeks.

Hey, now, that sounds exactly like what the Mayo clinic site told me for free!  Hmph.

Then, because my timing is impeccable, she tells me no contact sports or anything that can jostle my head till I've been symptom free for a week.  I inquire if roller coasters jostle my head, specifically Harry Potter roller coasters and she re-evaluates her earlier statement of you're fine and tells me slowly that yes, the Harry Potter roller coaster would not be a good idea.

And no Space Mountain, either.  I don't particularly care too much, roller coasters have never been my favorite thing but it's especially irksome given Harry Potter.  Isn't the park built around one main roller coaster ride?  I can wait in line with everyone since there are activities in line and just step off to the side when we get to the front, right?  Just take my $86 admission ticket over and get in line for a Butterbeer?  (Do they really taste like butterscotch?  I'm not a huge fan of that.. )

At least if my head cracks open, there'll be wands right there so a quick Reparo should do the trick.