And the winner for first EH meetup is: Butterfly Guy!
Was partly meeting him since I can't get a good read on him via email, I don't know if he's mimicking me and my relatively arcane speaking pattern but I don't think I come across like a pretentious imbecile and he sometimes does. Then other times he tries to impress me with his mastery of using pizza huts online ordering system. Seriously. Pizza Hut. (and this the week I got back from the shore so I was still all NYC pizza is the best phooey on you). And partly so I could legitimately say that I've 'dated' since the breakup :). At least I was more worried about keeping my eye rolls under control than I was about him being a psycho serial killer. He's about an hour south of me so when he suggested meeting up (specifically mentioning my city as someplace he'd be willing to go) I said how about the panera that's near me and he wrote back with sounds good except I'd like to make the location more equidistant so how about the one in canton. Now, I admit it, I am terrible with getting places. And he already said he'd come to me, no take backs allowed! So I countered with the cracker barrel by the airport since I can actually get there and he wanted to do it later in the afternoon. (I think. I've driven by it on the highway?)
I got there about 10 minutes early and was waiting on the porch. Was texting AJ as time ticked by since he made a point of telling me how punctual he is and at 3:59, I was all ok Mr. Punctual, you've got about 42 seconds before I begin to mock you. Of course, right as I hit send, I see him walking up. Now, it's Cracker Barrel. I was wearing jeans with an anthro top and cardigan, so dressed up by cb standards but not too much. He's wearing jeans, a white tee, and a blazer. Oh yes. I actually thought it was a bit sweet. And he's got flowers and a cupcake. Again, sweet. But. At Cracker Barrel. I definitely got some odd looks as I was carrying around my presents. We go in and sit down and I know what I want within 10 seconds (chef salad and a side of hashbrown casserole yum) and he's chatting and asking me questions and not even opening the menu. The waitress comes by THREE times within about 15 minutes and he still hasn't looked. At this point, I'm nearly being flat out rude and am looking around, not really answering questions because dude, open the menu, I'll tell you about being born out east after we order. Then he starts talking about how he doesn't like foods that mix. I'm all but what about hashbrown casserole, it's potatoes and cheese! Nope, refuses to even try it. But he says when he's feeling adventurous he eats lasagna. S: *bangs head into restaurant table*. So we order and with his roast beef he gets to pick three sides and chooses cottage cheese, applesauce, and steak fries. OMG it's like eating with a picky toddler. Why are you acting all impressed when I tell you about the various food things I make if you won't eat any of them hmmmm. So we're chatting more and start talking about music. I say how I like Broadway musicals and Christmas music (left out my love of Taylor Swift for now) and he starts in about how he loves classical and 80s music. Oh and a couple of John Mayer songs. But it has to be pretty classical music, he hates most everything Beethoven composed because it's too hard. S: *blinks away an eyeroll* And then he's telling me about one of his favorite composers and he has this really famous piece about water lillies and I'd probably recognize it if I heard it and THEN HE STARTS TO SING. In the middle of the restaurant, he's all laa la la la laaa la. At that point I really did have to physically turn away to compose myself because I was horrified. WHY ARE YOU SINGING STOP THAT. So am pretending like it sounds familiar all oh yeah, I think I recognize that basically code for please stop now. Except he doesn't. The singing continues. For nearly a full minute. At. Cracker. Barrel. Though that was actually good because the noise level in there is louder than at a nicer restaurant so I don't think too many people heard him. I give him a couple of from the past decade recommendations (Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson is a gorgeous song if you guys are looking for anything new to listen to) and we start talking about TV. He says he doesn't watch much (red flag!) and asks what my favorites are (uh, all of them?) and I say that West Wing is my favorite of all time. And then he's all oh yes, I've heard of it, it's rather sci-fi is it not? No. No it is really not. At first I thought he was joking like haha politics is an alternate reality so I was kind of laughing but then he compared it to Star Trek and then some of my consternation must have showed when I was all no, no it's really not and he backtracked a bit saying they were both 'smart' shows and uh huh, sure. So I list some of my other favorites, Frasier (oh yeah, I've seen a couple episodes), Glee (never heard of it), Modern Family (oh yes I heard that was supposed to be funny, I did enjoy My Wife and Kids when it was on).
Then he starts in about how he was visiting friends and the girl told him to watch this show because it was how women think and was so fabulous and puts on an episode of Sex and the City. S: Uh, not how most women think, fyi. And he says how he really didn't like it because of the language and how the sex was so denigrating and demeaning to women and the show fostered a society of consumerism and people think he's religious since he mostly never swears but he's really not and just tries to live by the golden rule. S: Well, shitballs. I don't completely disagree with him but really, satc is too much? My MOM watches satc. I defend the show a bit, just to be difficult and say that oftentimes sex was used as a metaphor and was more about women making their way in the world on their own terms regardless of what might be expected of them etc etc. I'm sure he hasn't Love Actually, my most favorite movie ever. Woe is him should he say one disparaging thing about it, I'd probably knock him down and shove mixed food down his throat.
We were talking about dating and I went off on how I hate it and am terrible at it and it's like being back in middle school and the whole process drives me batty. Which it is. And I am. Hatehatehate dating. Am good in a relationship, terrible at dating. And he gives me this puppy dog look and is all do you think this is terrible? Sigh. No, I don't think this is terrible, just the whole process. So he asks what my ideal dating process would be. I hesitate a bit sure that I should hold in my snap response of time traveling dragon shape shifters and when he sees me hesitate he's all let it out, I want to know, tell me. Fine. My idea would be for a magician to go poof and say here, this is your perfect mate. Heh. He blinked at me and slowly said ...I have to process that for a minute. Hee! I did enjoy freaking him out :) Now in various emails I had mentioned that I love hotels and he keeps trying to tell me that they usually aren't worth it and just go for lunch instead of dinner and I was finally kind of abrupt in one of the emails and was all hey, I like nice hotels, I've stayed at some that are absolutely worth it, you are not right about this, stop. He said something about travel and I jokingly was all yeah, am sure we'd butt heads over the hotel thing don't get me wrong, I like the Hampton Inn.. and he cuts me off mid sentence all I think the Hampton Inn is nice too! See, we agree. Uh, no. If you'd let me finish my sentence I was going for Hampton Inn is nice for a road trip or just a basic hotel need but not for special occasion weekend away options. But I just shoved another forkful of salad in and kept my mouth shut.
We spent about 2 hours at CB and he probably would have kept going but I pulled the whole I have to get home for the dog bit. I wasn't having a bad time, was just increasingly cognizant that 2 hours is a very long time at CB and our waitress probably really, really wanted us to go. He has the check and is saying how he wants to leave cash tips because otherwise they don't always get them bla bla ok fine, I've never worked in food service but have read similar things. And then realizes he has no cash. So I say I have cash and can leave tip (which is fine, I had no problem with that) and he's all ok, great, thanks, it's $21 so about $3. (Red flag!). Not a terrible tip but certainly not good. And even if you usually don't tip much don't you think that on a first date you might be a bit more open walleted? Who knows, perhaps he was embarrassed that I was leaving tip and was trying to save me money? Eh, not likely.
I gather up my to-go box, my flowers and my cupcake and wander around the store while he pays. Am looking at a stocking shaped silverware holder and he comes up behind me and goes what is that and I'm all look how fun, you put silverware in like if you're having a dinner party and he's all I've never heard of such a thing. But he has heard of rolling silverware in napkins. S: Yeah, like at the restaurant we just ate at. We walk out and he walks me to my car and I'm all ok well this was fun, am gone the next two weekends but when I get back bla bla and am awkwardly going in for the hug thanks to everything in my arms and he hugs me, kisses my cheek right by mouth and when I pull back just turns his head and kisses me. In the middle of the cb parking lot. Was not even two seconds so I didn't even really process what was happening till he stepped back and was looking at me. S: ok, uh, bye!
So. For my first, first date since 2001, not nearly as bad as I expected. Some sweet things (I do have a soft spot for any guy who brings me cupcakes), some annoying things (how will you not eat potatoes and cheese!!!), some red flags (doesn't like TV, seems cheap).
And am trying to pull myself out of Romancelandia. I can date someone and it doesn't have to be serious or leading to marriage or anything like that. I had a good enough time where I wouldn't mind going out again.
Depending on where I have to drive to, of course.
I loved reading this! Sounds like you were adorable and I wouldn't be surprised if he thought so too! I'm glad you had fun!
Posted by: TUWABVB | 23 August 2011 at 06:05 PM