Utils in Bat Country

What are you doing HERE?

Bmore is a city of roughly 7562 colleges and universities. OK, that might be slight exaggeration, but there are many. Hopkins, Loyola, College of Notre Dame of Maryland, Copping State, Morgan State, community colleges, surrounding county community colleges. We should be a very well educated city.

Should be. But that's another story for another day.

Suffice it to say that we get a lot of ejumakated folks at the restaurant. I'd hate to hazard a guess at what percentage of our clientele is college-educated, but let's put it like this: You have to be willing to eat raw fish* where I work. And many times that translates into a more educated crowd. Not always. But often.

More than once, more than twice, in fact at least once a month since we've started, the following scene has played out.

Me: [Pleasantries and whatnot, talking about food, answering questions]

Them: [It always goes roughly like this...] If you don't mind me [saying so/asking/making bold statements that might be offensive], you seem far too smart for a job like this. Shouldn't you be doing something else?

Me: [Launches into the 'almost a PhD' thing]

It's alternately very complimentary and very offensive. Who doesn't want to be told they sound smart from simply alerting people to the fact that a bucket of tater tots is 2.5 quarts? Then again, who wants to be told that their profession is 1) below them and 2) something they should be fighting to get out of? What if this was it for me? What if this is all I want out of life, all I ever aspired to? What if this was the only job I could get.

Oh. Wait. That last part is true.

And there it is, right? Serving food in a sushi bar WAS all I could get. Continues to be all I can get. While it's downright nice to have random strangers tell me I'm smart, it doesn't do me a damn bit of good. And it's kind of rude.

At least I don't sound like an idiot when I talk to people.

 

 

*Yes, it's true, we sell plenty of non-raw fish foods. I'm painting with a wide brush here, people.

I don't wanna

Over the course of my week long relationship with EHarm, I've gone from resigned to cautiously optimistic to excited to confused to bemused to ambivalence to dread.  (It seems I work fast).

Part of the problem is my net is probably too broad. Sure, I said I'm fine with kids and a broad age range and yet I'm surprised and dismayed when I keep getting matched with 39 yr olds who say their kids are one thing they can't live without (I'm sure you're a fabulous parent and more power to you but if the first thought I get when I look at your profile is huh, he reminds me of my Dad then I'm sorry but I'm going to run away shrieking) or the 26 yr old whose picture has them in front of kitchen cabinets with rows of empty beer bottles lined up behind them (dude, if you're 26, the time for that has come and gone).  So I should really narrow my age range to 27-34(5?) but my finger hovers over the submit key all what if the next match would have been great... and then I leave it and get more 39 yr olds and beat my head into the desk.  And it's not that I care so much about the age, if Don Draper were to show up in my matches I'd be requesting that in a hot minute.

And! I said in my settings that I was reasonably fit and I keep getting matched with all these marathon runners and kayaking adventures and oh, little pixels on the Internet, I am not a whitewater kayaker. I'm more a kayaker on the lazy river.  Some of my can't live withouts? DVR, pasta, books.  When their first can't live without is running shoes - I sense incompatibility ahead.

There have been a few that made me chuckle in their profiles or whose pictures caused an arched eyebrow of feminine interest that I have sent questions to or that have sent questions to me.  And they either haven't responded (I see others doing the same thing I do, can't bear to archive it but don't really want to pursue so it just stays in match limbo) or they respond and my question of what is food to you and their response is a means to an end, I have to eat to have fuel to run makes me want to write back with 'did you not see the multiple references to the Italian pasta loving family in my profile? YOU WILL EAT THIS MEATBALL AND LOVE IT DAMMIT' sooooo those haven't really gone anywhere.

And the whole thing is just exhausting.  It's not that I expect the romance novel scenario, well, ok, I do and so what.  I know plenty of real life couples who have adorable meetings and I know that the novels involving dragons and time travel are the least likely of those to happen in actual life but I refuse to believe the shared elevator ride/tangle of dog leashes/next to each other on the airplane scene can't happen.

Not to mention I'm pretty cynical about the whole thing. Hell, half the reason I'm all about finding a relationship is so when I move East and the landlords require a annual salary 40 times the monthly apartment rent, we can pool incomes. 

So, now that I've established myself as a ridiculous crazy person, I'll end with a little PSA to my matches. If you're going to put a group shot with friends as one of your photo uploads make sure you're one of the cuter ones.  No, really. I get that different people have different tastes but why would you then put up a second picture of just you with a friend from the group shot when said friend is clearly model gorgeous. There's a reason to just have the shots be of you, at first. Additionally, the phone in the mirror shot? No. No, honey, no. Fine for facebook ootd's but if I had to suck it up and say cheese for Gma's camera to get a niceish looking shot of me to upload, so do you. And finally, T, 34 from Monroe? Don't say you can't abide by dumb, fake people and those trying to punish future relationships because of their past ones and how you're so happy and smart but you would never be with a pessimist if you're going to spell it pecemist. 

 

Read and Watched in June

I have emerged victorious from both my month long class, and a grueling week at work. I am on day two of my "weekend", and I've even managed to accomplish a couple of things around the house. Right now, I'm waiting for the dishes to finish so I can reload, and perhaps find the energy for some laundry. My exciting life, let me show you it.

I'm coming late with the read and watch update, so I thought I'd give a little more this time around.

WATCHED

I've not been big on watching much of anything lately. I've been absorbed in books in a way I haven't been since long before graduate school went crazy on me, lo these many years ago. I read just about anything, good, bad, or indifferent with a frenzy that I can't quite explain. I've always loved to read, but something has changed recently. Perhaps it's working in a relatively mindless industry (sorry, but I ask people if they want tater tots with their meals...it's the equivelent to "do you want fries with that) and my brain is rebelling at the idea of becoming One of Those People. Not that I don't know plenty of smart and/or educated folks in the restaurant field. But it's capital D Different than academia, or even these ridiculous education classes I'm forced to undergo.

Thus, I've seen a grand total of ONE movie in the last month. And that was..."Love Actually". Which I have seen roughly 5464 times before.

[REDACTED]

READ

In June, I 'only' managed to get through three books. I say it like that because I read Stieg Larsson's Millenium trilogy. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, all of which have been turned into Swedish films in the last couple of years, and all of which are slated (much to my disdain) for American remakes in the near future. And the reason the 'only' is in there is that, unlike my penchant for trashy vampire books, Larsson's works aren't simple reads, aren't comfortable reads, and at roughly 700 pages each, they aren't short and sweet reads either. They are densely packed, full of violence of every nature, and get more and more out there as you read.

The first, Tattoo, is a straight-forward book about a woman who has gone through horrors in her life, made herself around them, and repeatedly gets stuck in shitty situations much outside of her own control. By the third book, I was shaking my head in disbelief thinking Larsson had gone a little too overboard with conspiracy theories and the like. I had already seen the films, so I knew some of what was coming, but per usual the books were superior and thus more involved.

Then I read the endnotes.

Since I'm not Swedish, and Sweden isn't exactly a world power of epic proportions, I was unfamiliar with many of the political figures the books mention, Prime Ministers assassinated in the 1970s and secret police officials that I suppose even Europeans might have a better understanding of than I do. Realistically, I only have so much room for information in my brain, and I apologize if I have any Swedish readers who are offended that 20th century Swedish political history hasn't been on my radar.

Come to find out, a large portion of the books that I found the most outlandish? Are based on real events. This kind of wacked out shit really happened in and to Sweden. Perhaps there was no real Girl but there were certainly a lot of bad folk who did some nasty things. Which, of course makes me think, if it could happen in Sweden, you KNOW it's happening here.

That's neither here nor there. What IS important is that I was compelled to read all three books as quickly as possible, even though I already knew what happened from the movies, because I think they're that good. Obviously I'm reading Larsson's books in translation (if I knew Swedish, I think I'd feel compelled to know more about the country, its history, etc. And then who knows if I would have enjoyed the books in the same way.) But whomever translated the works did a fine job, leaving in just enough Swedish to remind you this wasn't an American thriller while keeping you in the moment. Larsson's pacing is perfect, and he let's you anticipate just enough to keep you interested without giving anything away.

So yes, I only read three books in June. But those three books were roughly 2100 pages total. So I feel OK about it.

I've finally finished Emma, and have already read two more books in the last week, and am well on my way to finishing another today. I'll do my best to post reviews of these books next week...

Disharmony

While at Gmas, whenever AJ and I would pop our heads up at one end of the pool, gasping for breath, we would look around and see Gma and her posse waving at us from various points around the pool.  Bobbing introductions were given, yes AJs boys are so grown up now, in college, both of them, yes, my hair is getting long again, nope, not married or seeing anyone, just puppy.  The usual. And several of them asked me 'now, honey, have you tried those Internet sites to meet people?'  Nope, not yet, just via AIM back in 1999 (oh yes, old skool).  'Well, my neighbors daughters friends niece did it and is married now!'.  Smile and nod and mumble something about cost and upcoming expenses so on, so forth.  Which generally works, but this time, it is revealed that there have been discussions and how Mom is perfectly willing to fund my online dating.  Well, then.  But I come back with, 'I have no pictures!'.  And then Gma says well, AJ is such a talented photographer...

Fine. If you people want to take pictures of me and I don't have to pay for it, I will join one of the sites.  And then everyone in the pool agreed that Eharmony would be by far the best one. Ok, then.

Pictures were taken, poses were critiqued, hot dog breaks were taken and I eventually found myself in front of a computer answering pages of questions (Am I independent - yes. Am I emotional - clearly.)

Get through and see my shiny, photoless profile in the system.  Upload some photos and I can see them in my settings but they aren't showing up as visible.  Spend far too long trying to sort that out and then give up and go pack.  A few hours later, in the wee hours, I get multiple emails saying your photo has been approved and has been uploaded.  Ah ha.  Figured that would be my hiccup with the site and moved onward.  Saw in the morning that I had more matches and some requests for communication (oooooooh) but by the time I got back to DTW and the office and had a chance to sit down, it was late in the day.  No problem, logged on, answered some questions, sent some of my own and left for a meeting.  Got back a bit after 5, logged in and got a message saying my account had been permanently disabled.  Uh, what?  Refreshed the computer, tried a different browser, nope nope nope.

Now, I hadn't then (and still haven't) received any sort of communication from Eharmony saying that my account was being closed or why.  I talked to Mom and the full 6 month subscription had been debited from her account so that wasn't the problem.  I had the welcome email from them asking to get in touch with a profile helper person to get some tips so I logged on to the chat screen and explained the problem.  Heather S. told me she had no account information and that I'd have to talk to an account specialist.  Ok, how do I do that.  She sent me an email that I replied to and then someone would get in touch with me in a couple of days.  Ok, fine.  Email sent and responded to on Tuesday.  I summarized what was happening and said I'd like to resolve the error but if that wasn't possible I'd expect a refund as I had the account fewer than 24 hours.

Tuesday - no response

Wednesday - no response so I called the profile helper 800 number to get to a person.  Got a person, explained the situation and got the same we have no information on your account but I can see your help email has been received so just wait and eventually you'll get a response. 

Thursday - no response but I did get a voicemail from Mom saying her money had been refunded.

Which takes us to today.  Am assuming that since the money was refunded that I'm still permanently banned for some unknown reason and since the money was returned there's really no loss.  (Except the 29 yr old doctor that messaged me...)

And yet... I'm rather more upset about the whole thing than I anticipated.  For starters, am less than pleased that I've had ZERO communication from Eharmony regarding the problem.  I'm glad the money was refunded but still, tell me what the problem is/was.  There's also the emotional component to it, why is Eharmony rejecting me? The mystery component could be amusing depending on my mood.  It wasn't a money problem so something about me specifically was deemed permanently off limits to the rest of the esteemed members.  Last time I checked, the worst thing about me was my fondness for spending far too much on shoes.  Run for your lives!!!!!

And here I was thinking I would have made a fine addition to the commercials showing the shiny, happy, laughing people.  Maybe it's because they hardly ever show their shoes in the commercials.

UPDATE: Hours after hitting publish, I had a response (is always the way, is it not?).  Account closed in error, have been reinstated and got a month free, woo to the hoo.  So I log back in and there's my smiling only sort of grimacing face.  With no matches.  I can see some people who looked at my profile, it says I closed one that I did not and I tried to reopen and it just bounced me back to my homepage.  *sigh*  I'll call it progress.

Book FYI

Oh, Internet. Do I have a story for you. Am waiting until I get resolution (email me back company!) but yes, it is ridiculous and so long as I either get back in or my $200 back, will be hilarious. Till then, book recommendations!

I came across some interesting sounding freebies whilst perusing Amazon:

Fire Lord's Lover - Kathryne Kennedy
Kiss at Your Own Risk - Stephanie Rowe
Lord Demon's Delight - Gia Dawn

Ten Ruby Trick - Julia Knight (note: not free and technically not a romance but sounded interesting

I've purchased books by Kennedy and Rowe before so I'm pretty optimistic about them and hey, free's free so am hoping the Dawn is good enough to get me to purchase her other books.

Whirlwind (the second)

When I bought my tickets to the shore (one month! yay!) I figured I'd look and see what the 4th of July prices looked like. Lo and behold (right? isn't low?), tickets from dtw -> phl were cheap, aunt j was free, off I went.  Thought of all the mommy blogs I read when they talk about traveling with kids as I saw most of that in action on my flight.  Cute family with two little kids in the aisle next to me and the little boy (maybe 3) was opening his new for the flight toy (dump truck).  Which he then showed me and we had a chat about how he was going on TWO flights.  Quite the adorable moppet.

Had an unbelievably much needed fabulous time (as I always do with her) and cracked up on numerous occasions. Laughter is the best medicine sometimes (schmaltz). As my aunt is super fabulous, we headed down to Cape May to take a peek in the room she designed at the show house.  Thanks to traffic, what should have taken 1.5 hours took 4 but all was made up for at dinner.  We ate at Freda's Cafe and inhaled every speck of food.  My crab topped Beef Wellington was drool worthy. Already plotting if we can do a repeat dinner next month :)  Then of course, we stopped for ice cream and went to Pearl's this odd little duck of a store.  Every time I go in, I spent the first 20 min wandering around thinking nah, don't really like anything and then someone tries something on and I randomly grab a sweater and before you know it, I'm buying $158 purple and green brocade dresses with wire in the collars and an exposed front zipper.  At least I have my dress for the October wedding I'm going to?  After that, I'll likely wear it to the grocery store as my life seems to have a dearth of cocktail attired events.  Shopping fun continued at Anthro where I didn't buy any clothes (shocking) but made a couple returns to offset the ridiculous dress and spent $60 on two headbands (oh, self)(but I had a $30 giftcard so I really only spent $30 on two headbands?).  Then AJ bought an ipad and I nearly ran out of the Apple store before I succumbed and pounced on the Loft 40% off sale.  Scored some insane deals including a magic dress that I'm receiving many compliments on even after having balled it up in the smallest possible shape to cram it in the suitcase.  Tried on a white lace shift but as it would still be $60 and I really don't need two ridiculous cocktail dresses in my repertoire, I left it at the store.  Of course, I'm still looking at the picture in my iphone...

Got to see my cousin's squishy new puppy and sit on a patio watching the fireflies and swim (and realize after two laps that wow, I've fallen a long, long way since swim team) and do all sorts of July-ish activities. 

Came back yesterday morning but thanks to light traffic and barely any wait at security, ended up with a good hour to kill so wandered over the majority of PHL.  And stumbled upon Chick Fil A.  Now, I had missed out on getting it the rest of the weekend but to my superstitious mind, Chick Fil A is an acceptable last food.  So I couldn't eat it while getting ready to board. I hid in the Gap instead and tried to focus on tank tops and not chicken biscuits.  Something to look forward to next month...