Utils in Bat Country

Giotto!

As I mentioned yesterday, aside from one event, Easter went off almost ridiculously smoothly.

Thus, the event.

I had the baguette all cut and olive oil drizzled on the baking sheet waiting to go in the oven and was chopping onions for the shrimp when I heard Giotto do his am about to throw up meow.  TS hears this and recognizes it as snack time (ugh, Till) so we both leave the kitchen to go find where the cat has horked.  As I'm trying to push her back out of the way, am peering around the cat on the stairs because I don't see anything... on the rug.  When I look closer, I see that along the side of my shoe and down the next step to INSIDE MY PURSE is a stream of half digested cat food. 

After recovering from the loss of peripheral vision, I realized this was actually sort of preferable as the leather is relatively easy to wipe off and the patent shoe rinsed off easily under the faucet.  Had to spend a couple minutes scrubbing the lining of my purse where things dripped (ew) but was doing fine managing the anxiety about the day.  Then I walk back into the kitchen and see my dog with bulging cheeks and several noticeable absences from the baguette filled cookie sheet.

And then, all was lost.  Rather than try and reclaim my bread, I just dragged her leash over to her crate and shut her in for awhile while I sorted out just how much she had gotten to.  Only took a couple rounds so still plenty left for the appetizers. 

But damn if I wasn't yearning for some Xanax while I was gripping the sides of the counter at 3:35 in flour covered yoga pants trying to stave off a panic attack before the guests arrived at 4 because it's all ruined(!!!)  Nothing can go right for the rest of the day! (woe)(wail)(rend garments spatula dramatically)

Abrassive?

The following is a rough transcript of a conversation I had with a fellow server at the restaurant last night. It was really amazing.

Her: Hey, I was thinking about doing this dermal abrasion thing. You interested in going along?

Me: What the hell is that?

Her: It’s a thing where a spa basically sandblasts your face with diamonds. It takes all the dead skin off your face, and they say it can reduce scars and wrinkles, and make your skin look a ton better.

[Cut for length and non-funny discussion of our faces, skin, and an awful story of her being attacked by a dog.]

Me: Wait! Wasn’t that the thing from Sex in the City that Samantha had done? The one where her face looked like shit right after?

Her: No! That was a chemical peel. NOT that.

Me: OK, brass tacks here. How much is this going to cost?

Her: Well, there’s a take home version that’s much cheaper than the spa or cosmetic surgeon.

Me: Take home?

Her: Yeah, but it’s basically just a cream that you apply to your face with exfoliates in it, and then you rub this wand thing over it all.

Me: So what you’re saying is that the at-home version is like me rubbing mayonnaise with salt in it on your face, and then smashing it all in with a dildo?

Her: Well, yeah, I guess it kinda is like that.

Me: Unless, of course, you prefer Miracle Whip. And the salt should certainly be kosher. You know, so the crystals are big.

Her: Yes. And if you get a double-sided dildo, we could do our faces at the same time!

 

By this point, we were laughing so hard we both had tears running down our faces. Work was slow last night, but this conversation TOTALLY made it worth it.

Food Verdicts

Overall - YUM

I made the cake Saturday afternoon and debated about assembling the potatoes.  I was nervous about them getting mushy overnight but in the end time constraints won out and I figured the 3 cups of cream and pound of Gruyere would cover all manner of food sin.

Dealt with my parking lot phobia by going to 7am Mass, came home and took a three hour nap, walked TS and tried to figure out the game plan.  I had roughly sketched out when things needed to be in the oven but not so much the prep.  So I did some prep things, got the asparagus ready, took the puff pastry out of the freezer, peeled and de-veined the shrimp (still can't decide if it was worth it over frozen already cleaned ones) and dropped them in the marinade.

Miraculously, nothing disastrous (with one glaring exception) happened and I didn't forget to make anything and come 4pm I had my appetizers ready to go.

Bruschetta - delicious as always, am a big fan of having prosciutto on hand to pair with it.  Only flaw with toasting bread rounds is what to do with the extra.  I haven't thrown them away yet but they're pretty rock hard. Not sure if throwing them in w/ the tomato a la panzanella will help.

Brie - Good, not fabulous.  Was easy enough to put together and was tasty.  I may skip the onions next time.  They definitely a nice flavor to the dish but all that moisture ended up for a soggy pastry bottom.  And the brie and the pastry are so decadent to begin with, the onions didn't need to be there.

Timing wise, am shocked, but everything went smoothly.  While I was finishing up dinner for 5pm, dog park neighbors were able to eat the appetizers and have some wine and giggle over the mini Easter baskets I got for everyone.

Baked shrimp scampi - yummy.  I forgot the wine and think I'll use less panko next time but aside from the prepping of the shrimp was pretty easy to make and I think with a few modifications will not be quite so stick and a half butter indulgence and could easily be done on a weeknight.

Grandma's mushrooms - sigh. Not bad but like everything, better when she makes them.  I got the pre chopped mushrooms but think I should have chopped them further.  They were nearly steak cut so by the time they started to get brown and crispy on the outside, I was mumbling hurry up hurry UP at the pot.

Roasted asparagus - always good, a welcome vegetable.  Overshadowed by the other taste explosions.

And my potatoes.  My precious, precious potatoes.

I pulled them out of the fridge at 2:30 to go in the oven and peeled off the foil to discover a top layer of gray.  Even with being in the cream and covered, there was still much oxidation.  I picked off the worst offenders, noting the mushyness, threw some more cream and cheese on and popped it in the oven, fingers crossed.  I moved my oven racks so the potatoes wouldn't be on the bottom level but there was still a brown crust all on the bottom.  Didn't taste bad and I only noticed it because I've made them so many times.  The taste itself was still spot on amazing and there was a bit of discoloration in the overall dish but when in doubt, cream and cheese won't steer you wrong.

Olive oil pumpkin cake (with the ridiculous $10 for a wee little pack of pine nuts) - good.  Really good.  Super moist, not too sweet.  I wanted something lighter for the end of such a rich meal and this hit the spot.  I sifted some powdered sugar on before I served and I'd definitely always do that in the future.  No problem at all with being made ahead and something that will be perfect for brunches and weekend breakfasts.  I may swap out the pine nuts for walnuts next time because I suspect the flavor notes will all still be there.  While is very much a fall dish (pine nuts, pumpkin, rosemary) I thought it translated really well to a Springtime meal and definitely plan for it to be a year round cake.

While I am pretty proud of myself for my foray into Martha land, there's always the aftermath to bring you right back down to the real world.

Easter menu

Am going pretty low key this year and having some of my neighbors over for dinner on Sunday.  Is relatively last minute so my menu currently exists in doodled from on a post it.

My must haves for pretty much any holiday:

Barefoot Contessa Potato Gratin - I don't care for fennel so I leave that out and up the onion a bit.  I first made this nearly 10 years ago and holy god is it good.  And it's equally yummy reheated.  I have to restrain myself to making it only a few times a year.

Grandma's mushrooms - nothing super fancy about these, just sauteed with wine, garlic and a bunch of other spices I just had to email gma to check on.  Have had them at every holiday or family dinner since I've been born so on the menu they go.

Brie of some sort.  I blame France.  During my study abroad when lunch was routinely a brie and butter sandwich with a green apple, I developed a love of the gooey scrumptiousness.  Winter holidays usually find it dolled up with a brandy brown sugar topping but this year I think I'm going to do a caramelized onion puff pastry take.

Old favorites:

Bruschetta - will be nice to have something fresh on the table amongst all the butter and cream.

Roasted asparagus - because when doesn't a meal call for roasted asparagus?

New recipes to test on willing subjects:

Roasted shrimp - originally I wasn't going to have a entree and just let the sides fill out the meal but I feel like a let down to all the cooking shows I watch if I don't.  Will likely use the Ina recipe I linked to add some herbs and serve warm as the main course.  The potatoes are insanely rich so wanted to go lighter than lamb.  Not to mention, I've never really made a main protein for a holiday that has to serve many people so would rather not undertake anything too challenging.

Pumpkin olive oil cake - I may weenie out on this and just get everyone little Easter baskets at their places and have that be dessert but I'm intrigued by the idea of an olive oil cake and since my compromise for having the potatoes (and eating the leftovers all next week) was to not make Paula's gooey butter cake, this seems like a reasonable choice that ties in with the rest of the menu.  Is a fall recipe so I may find a lemon olive oil cake recipe.  We shall see.

Now I just have to figure out how to cook everything.  The apartment oven is small and not always the most reliable.  The potatoes are the star so even though I could make them ahead would rather those go straight from oven to table.  Though, they can cool for awhile so perhaps when I pull them out, I'll put the shrimp in.  Cake can probably be done the day before or the morning of when I get back from church?  Bruschetta can be done ahead, bread toasted quickly.  Mushrooms are on the stove so that's fine, then it's the asparagus and brie.  Perhaps when the potatoes come out, asparagus will go in shortly followed by the shrimp?  But what about the brie...

I see flowcharts in my future.

If you don't have anything nice to say

The only nice thing I have to say about 'Spring' this year is at least the roads are clear, a fact for which I am truly thankful.

The Good and the Bad

It would seem that my ability to have a string of good luck is gone. Just POOF. I used to have good luck all the time, and then it dried up like a tomato that's been in your fridge for WAY too long. And here I am. Let's look at the 'bad' and see what there is, shall we?

I am divorced, in my early 30s. I quit my 'good' job about a year ago, was unemployed for six months or so, got a job at a restaurant as a hostess. I had to borrow money to go along with the tax refund money I lived off of in order to pay my bills, but I squeaked by with enough to still have some enjoyment. I owe a couple of friends a pile of money, I still owe my lawyer from my divorce. My pickup truck would cost me $3k to get fixed, and the dealership is offering me less than $500 for it to sell. I have parking tickets that I need to fight with the city of Baltimore about (especially since the meter-maid person LIED on the tickets). I took my dog to the vet this morning for a limp, and to the tune of roughly $1k found out that she has a torn ligament and will need surgery. I've slept maybe eight hours in the last 48 hours, my dogs ate a book in my living room last night, my dishes haven't been done in probably a month, there's a giant hole in my comforter on my bed (also courtesy of the dogs), my washing machine only kind of works, my feet are cold, and it raining on my day off but going to be warm and sunny tomorrow when I have to work the entire day.

There? You see? It's not world-ending stuff, but golly gee willickers, can a bitch catch a break?

 

That said, while at the grocery store buying Doritos, Coke, and a salad to drown my sorrows in, I started smiling and making jokes with people. You know why?

Because I'm not a hostess anymore, but a server. A good one, who makes really good money on the job. I have A job, which is a Good Thing. I've met some extraordinary people at work, both coworkers and people from Bmore. I met the Guy there, and I'm glad to have him around. I have two dogs who love me, even if one of them is about to drain me of the little bit of fun money I was starting to acrue. While she's resting at the vet's office, the other dog alternates between snuggling up behind me on the couch, or finding her own place at the end of the couch and napping. I have this house, and unlike many folks, I've managed to come up with the money to pay for it for the last year. Along with the fancy car I drive, which I adore. I just bought (with real extra money) a new guitar that I've been saving for since roughly January. Paying for the dog came out of money on my kitchen table and the money I will get from the truck once I track down the title and get back to the dealership this afternoon. The service guy cut me a deal and nixed my diagnostic fee so that I can take home a little more money, and it can go straight to the dog. I've already made enough this month to pay my bills, so I've got the next week or so to make more for the dog's surgery. Yes, I'm tired, but I can sleep all day Thursday and Friday if I want. I just got a Sunnydale high school tshirt (yay Buffy!), I've got a ton of books to read, I've got my health (even if the dog doesn't), and I had Coke, Doritos, and a salad for lunch. 

I'd like to think that I'm going about all this as positively as I can.

Lose Yourself

Like 98% of the other exercising people who listen to music, Lose Yourself is on my dog walking play list.  I had forgotten about the song until the Chrysler Superbowl commercial so am still in oh yeah, this is a great song phase and not skipping it due to it being overplayed.

Since my leg is still being irritated and my ass is hanging onto winter weight forever have been trying to be more aerobic at the apartment.  For whatever reason, I get this burst of energy around 1030 each night so while I'm getting ready for bed, am trying to jam it up.  Since the words to Love the Way You Lie are a bit too disturbing for 5 minutes before bed, I choreographed this whole routine to the song and try and have been doing it each night.

Intro up to first chorus - bouncy stretching/warm up (a la warm up routine from Center Stage)

Chorus - feet shoulder width apart, sink all the way down (is some yoga pose whose name is escaping me) and punch a la Tae Bo

Second verse - Alternate between front and roundhouse kicks

Chorus - repeat chorus above

Push up through screaming thighs and fall over into bed.

Considering it's brief - about 5 minutes - have been pleased thus far.  My heart rate goes up, I feel it in my shoulders and my legs and can give myself balance pats on the back for not falling over during the loooong section of alternating kicks. 

Mayhap I should challenge Mr. Mathers to a throw down.  Or Richard Simmons.  Sweatin' to the Crossover Rap!

Veer

Part of my plan is to end up back East.  Had been planning on my zip code changing within the next year(ish).  Have done all the beginning to make a change steps one does: told people, pulled up apartment websites, put it in the back of my mind.  I won't seriously start to make concrete decisions till after I get back from the shore, in August.  Even so - plan, I have one.  MI -> East.

And then. I talked to one of my best friends N who I've been superstucklikegluebff's with for nigh on 15 years.  Since graduating high school (12 years next month holy crap) we haven't lived in the same place but both of our overarching plans had us returning to our east coast roots.  And while I was on the phone with him, it comes up that he's thinking of making a change himself.  Except his would be TX -> MI.  And now my path suddenly looks like MI -~~~~^<MI?  I wouldn't stay JUST because he's considering moving here but a big part of my leaving is to be nearer to family, friends and the thought of being able to see him weekly again makes me all atwitter. 

His impending change is also in the nascent stage so who knows what, if anything, will happen. 

Maybe I'll just stay long enough for him to get here and then drag him behind me all the way down I-76.

Real Women Drive Trucks

Along with the MiniCooper I bought myself a year or so ago, I have a pick-up truck. She's not a thing of beauty, but a 2001 Toyota Takoma. She hasn't done me wrong, until recently.

You see, I live in a row house, and thus have no driveway. It's all street parking around here. Because I am kind, I park the truck in front of my house and my car at the end of the street, on a side street where no one lives. I can see my car from my house, but it's not in the way of others (like my neighbor) who have kids, stuff to carry, etc.

I also don't move the truck much in the winter and spring. I don't drive it, really, unless I'm heading to a weekend of camping. And, as it sits in front of MY house, it's never been a problem.

Until about a month ago.

At some point, someone in the neighborhood decided that my truck didn't belong here, and they started calling 311. 311 is non-emergency stuff, like bulk garbage pick up and reporting abandoned vehicles. The cops come, chalk the tire on the truck and leave me a ticket. Grrr. I move the truck. However, I can only move it after jump-starting it, as it would seem that over the winter the truck has decided to die on me.

Fine. Jump truck. Move it.

311 again. And again. AND AGAGIN.

OK, here's the thing. The truck is in front of MY house. The only parking spot I'm taking up is rightfully mine. OH! And the other thing?! Is that the 311 is LYING TO THE COPS.

So, yesterday I have the If You Don't Move By Saturday, We're Towing Your Truck sticker on the window. Fine. Exept the sticker says that 1) the tires are flat and 2) the truck is inoperable (per 311 call) and that I've been pushing it to move it. Which is a straight up lie. NONE of the tires are flat, and although I have had to jump to stupid truck, it most certainly does run just fine once it gets going.

Last night, when I got home from class, I ammounced to the neighborhood (oh, and they heard me) that my truck DOES run, does NOT have a flat, and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Some douchebag who lives across the street (and parks in front of my neighbor's house EVERY day for NO reason) came outside, made some bland statements about how it wasn't him that called (even though he stood in his window and watched us the whole time we were jumping it). When I started explaining that I LIVE in the house it's parked in front of, the motherfucker told me that SOMEONE HIT MY TRUCK LAST WEEK AND HE SAW IT. BUT HE DIDN'T BOTHER TO WRITE DOWN ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THAT. Then he scurried back into his house, after offering to move his car from in front of my neighbor's house so I could move my truck there.

I don't know what purpose someone had in calling 311 about my truck. I have the distinct impression that it was this tool I talked to last night, as he's the only new person on our block. My truck sat happily in front of my house for almost  a year, moving when I needed to go somewhere and taking up only my space. Suddenly it's a problem.

I took it to the dealership last night, and I have to call them this morning. I need to know why the battery isn't holding a charge. And then every 48 hours, I'll be moving my truck in front of someone else's house. And when I find out for sure who was calling, they're getting my truck in front of their house every two days for exactly 48 hours. I'll set a timer. But for two nights, they'll be parking their ass somewhere else. And on those nights? I'm parking my car in front of my own house too.

Assholes.

Pescatarian is a Stupid Word

Furthering my adventures in not eating meat has been interesting. I stopped eating most meat near the end of February. It was going to be a 30 day experiment, which has morphed into something more.

I have eaten fish, and I won't lie about that. A couple tuna sandwiches a couple of weeks ago, in the throes of a horrific hangover, some sushi here and there at work. But that's about it. Otherwise, it's been soy products and tofu.

Perhaps unsurpringly, my weight has stayed about the same. In part this is due to the cheese. Like may aspiring veggies, I oft times replace meat with cheese in a meal. This is a bad thing to do, and yet I keep doing it. I also think I've hit a point where, unless I become anorexic (which is NOT on my agenda), I will not lose weight until I get back to exercising. The problem is that on my days off, the last thing I want to do is move. I bust my ass at work, this morning my knees were killing me, so the idea of jumping around while someone exorts me to TRY HARDER makes me want to punch them in the throat.

That all said, The Guy introduced me to some really good soy protein sausages. They don't taste like meat, per say. They taste like the spices that make sausage tasty, while maintaining a good consistancy that doesn't make me retch, like some veggie hot dogs do. And I've got to start trying to cook with tofu, because we need the protein and I need to practice with the whole cooking thing.

There is a veggie/vegan restaurant near where I work, so that's helpful. Their reuben, which uses some kind of tofu for the meat, is excellent and I bet I eat there once a week. Another local bar also has a couple of staples for me now, with a veggie burger and a grilled portabello sandwich that's killer. But I'm also not concerned with occasionally allowing myself some raw fish at work.

So, that's how the whole vegetarian thing is going. We shall see, once summer sets in and hot dogs are all around, if I can maintain or not...