Abrassive?

The following is a rough transcript of a conversation I had with a fellow server at the restaurant last night. It was really amazing.

Her: Hey, I was thinking about doing this dermal abrasion thing. You interested in going along?

Me: What the hell is that?

Her: It’s a thing where a spa basically sandblasts your face with diamonds. It takes all the dead skin off your face, and they say it can reduce scars and wrinkles, and make your skin look a ton better.

[Cut for length and non-funny discussion of our faces, skin, and an awful story of her being attacked by a dog.]

Me: Wait! Wasn’t that the thing from Sex in the City that Samantha had done? The one where her face looked like shit right after?

Her: No! That was a chemical peel. NOT that.

Me: OK, brass tacks here. How much is this going to cost?

Her: Well, there’s a take home version that’s much cheaper than the spa or cosmetic surgeon.

Me: Take home?

Her: Yeah, but it’s basically just a cream that you apply to your face with exfoliates in it, and then you rub this wand thing over it all.

Me: So what you’re saying is that the at-home version is like me rubbing mayonnaise with salt in it on your face, and then smashing it all in with a dildo?

Her: Well, yeah, I guess it kinda is like that.

Me: Unless, of course, you prefer Miracle Whip. And the salt should certainly be kosher. You know, so the crystals are big.

Her: Yes. And if you get a double-sided dildo, we could do our faces at the same time!

 

By this point, we were laughing so hard we both had tears running down our faces. Work was slow last night, but this conversation TOTALLY made it worth it.